Blindspot s4 ep 19

I’ve dawdled a bit with this post since Blindspot, having only just returned,  is taking yet another break – I think the announcer said it won’t be back till 3rd June – but in the meantime, against the odds, the show’s been renewed for a fifth and final season. I’m fine with that. I would’ve been happy enough with it ending this season too, but as long as the fifth season involves plenty of Rich and Patterson and the continued possibilities that a) PATDOTCOM might happen and b) they get their own spin-off, I am ON BOARD.

This instalment, meanwhile, not only has plenty of Rich and Patterson, but so many other things going on that, when sitting down to write this, I couldn’t remember the case of the week, even though the case of the week is characteristically demented: Russian spies, Juliet from Lost and a satellite equipped with live nuclear missiles which can be launched from space. Sure, why not?

All of that’s wrapped up with minimal fuss and minimal staff, though, since most of the cast is occupied elsewhere. Kurt dips in and out of satellite-gate, since he’s busy tracking down his mum, finding out from Jane that he didn’t quite know the truth about his childhood after all, paying cash money to save Mrs W from gangsters she’s in tow with (that bit seems counter-intuitive for, y’know, FBI agents), and possibly sending her to rehab. Jane makes tea (so. much. tea.) and provides sympathy for Ma Weller. And Rich and Patterson are alarmed (as am I) by the fact that Krazy Kathy – who, let’s not forget, kidnapped two FBI agents, electrocuted them with shock collars and threatened to kill them – is not only out of jail after serving about five minutes of her sentence, but is up to her old hacking tricks again, complicating their lives somewhat since Reade is not going to be able to ignore the Three Blind Mice issue forever.

I liked it all, but Patterson and Rich’s story is far and away the funniest and the best, as usual, thanks to Kathy’s dream wedding plans, Rich’s “tongue”-coloured suit, Patterson just having “so much money” and the completely ridiculous twist at the end. Good times.

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Blindspot s4 ep 18

*SPOILERS*

Genetically modified killer bees carrying a deadly toxin are killing people by way of poisoned melons, and Bill Nye the Science Guy might be the secret villain behind it. No, really. We’ve always said that a big part of why we love this show is its unapologetic ridiculousness, and this week’s jaunty nonsense is a worthy addition to the Big Book o’Bonkers that passes for plots on Blindspot. Sure, “What’s Her Name” is still being a Debbie Downer (although that scene at the end where she falls asleep after Reade tucks her in is very sweet), but everyone else is having a happily wacky time investigating whether Patterson’s Dad/ Kurt’s greatest hero really is the kind of “Science Guy by day, Poison Guy by night” who would deliberately develop cantaloupe as a murder weapon. After all, you would think Rich really would know a secret bad guy when he sees one.

There might well be something more than just tetrodotoxin in the air, meanwhile, as we somehow find out that Teen Remi loved toucans and wrote Goth poetry (WTF?), Bill Nye is a PATDOTCOM shipper (OMG finally – SQUEEEEE!) and Kurt’s mum might have been a Sandstorm informant (EH?). Throw in some ridiculous bee puns, Weller’s fanboy grin, Patterson being jealous over birthday lasagne and a frankly terrific move when Jane runs, jumps and apologetically locks the hapless culprit in a van with a swarm of angry buzz-killers (sorry), and I’m more than happy enough. It’s not the greatest Blindspot ever, but it’s good fun.

Blindspot s4 ep 12

*SPOILERS*

Jane is in hospital, in the final stages of ZIP poisoning and uncharacteristically freaking out. (I’m not saying her fear and distress isn’t completely understandable, I’m just saying it’s not very Jane-ish.) Kurt, by her side, is doing his best to be loving and supportive, but love and support aren’t going to be enough, you guys, what we need is a quest! Yes, the only way to save Jane is to get the Stanton cells (which have gone from not really existing, to there being only one set in the world, to there now being a second…. by next week, they’ll be 3 for 2 in Tesco). And the only way to get the Stanton cells is to exchange them for the BOOK. OF. SECRETS. We’re going on a treasure hunt!

Happily, by “we”, I mean unpopcult’s favourites Patterson and Rich because, although Blindspot as a show is probably as close to done as Jane is for most of this ep, the PATDOTCOM double-act is only just getting started. So off they go to Peru to have an absolute ball finding EL LIBRO, and as Jed has commented before, the show’s commitment to location work makes a massive difference – that they really do go to Peru, and it looks amazing makes what was already going to be a delightful episode even better. Well, that and the fact that Ennis Esmer and Ashley Johnson are wonderful, and clearly having the best time together, and I love them. Yay!

And, by way of bonus, now that they’ve saved Jane, it looks like PATDOTCOM are going to try to save Zapata and her storyline too, which can only be a good thing. Not because I particularly like Zapata (I don’t), but because her storyline has been nothing but po-faced, unmitigated angst forever and I feel like I have been bored with it and her for my entire life. Even just adding Boston this week lightened things up considerably on that front. Imagine what adding PATDOTCOM could do….

Blindspot s4 ep 11

Well, thank goodness for that. Blindspot’s sense of humour returns this week as everyone (except Zapata; the writers are too enraptured with her tragic heroine narrative to give it even a minute’s rest) gets to send themselves up in a true crime/ murder mystery pastiche making loving fun of them all.

Long story short: the team investigate the murder of superfan Kurt’s favourite mystery writer, and in doing so have to solve the “real-life” (in Blindspot’s universe, not ours) murders in his unfinished final manuscript. Which features Team Tat in starring roles.

To add to all the fun, there’s finally a bit of PATDOTCOM romance (or PETDOTBIZ, to be strictly accurate: everyone is very clear, to my chagrin, that the only way this particular ship will ever hit the water is in fantasy sequences like these) and the heightened versions manage the difficult trick of catching the essence of the “normal” characters and their emotions besides, while also cheerfully, charmingly acknowledging their innate ridiculousness. Lovely. Of course, it’s not all fun and games – Jane’s in dire straits, and Zapata is doing whatever she’s doing – but it’s the best episode since the mid-season hiatus by miles. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Blindspot s4 ep 1

*SPOILERS*

We start, I hope, as we mean to go on: a thrilling, fantastically-choreographed action sequence, with a keen sense of humour and Rich Dotcom right in the middle of it. (Those last two things being very obviously connected to each other.) It’s wildly exciting and completely mad (in a thoroughly awesome way), and there’s no way the rest of the episode can live up to it, but that doesn’t stop everyone from giving it a good go.

Patdotcom are not even close to being romantic (sadly) but they’re a delightful double act, nonetheless. Kurt is a giant wounded puppy, nuzzling at Jane and making big sad eyes at her, increasingly bewildered as to why neither of those tactics seem to work any more. Jane herself isn’t Jane at all, nor is she Jane alone, since she and we are saddled with Imaginary Dead Roman, a character less annoying in death than he was in life, but who, nonetheless, has delighted us more than enough. (FFS, writers. Let. Him. Go.) By contrast, guest star Nyambi Nyambi doesn’t get to delight us for very long at all; no sooner has Jane managed to track him down, than she pretty much gets him killed, but he does get the line of the night in first with “What happened? You get hit in the head with a second coconut?” Hee. The insipid Blake doesn’t get to hang around either – bye, Blake! Please don’t appear in anybody’s flashbacks or hallucinations! – so Tasha’s new boss/mark is Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, who will always remind me of Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves, and is therefore entirely welcome. New boss Weitz, I’m not so keen on, mind you, but Rich seems to enjoy him, so we’ll see. As for the plot, well, let’s be honest, it’s absolutely crazy, it doesn’t make a lot of sense and it doesn’t matter in the slightest. All that does matter is that this was really, really good fun. Let’s hope they can keep it up.

Blindspot s3 ep 8

*SPOILERS*

Well, slap me sideways, what a stormer of an episode this is.

After last week’s Van Gogh setback, our heroes are feeling understandably dejected. “How the hell are we supposed to catch this woman when she keeps murdering all the people who can help put her away?”, frets Jane. Rather than dwell on this for too long though, Mary Stuart Masterson herself decides to speed up proceedings and gives them a hint by dragging Rich Dotcom into proceedings and using him to try and frame Patterson for absolutely everything. The nerve of the woman!

Of course, Rich, who I am straight up in love with at this point, is having none of this and not only goes straight to Team Tat but sorts out a whole multi-stage, multi-felony escape plan for her – those of us shipping PatDotcom (ie ME) might have got a little bit excited at this point and maybe lost our minds later on at the “Suck it” bit, don’t even pretend – which involves vents, security log-ins, an old man suit and a joyously, brazenly ridiculous game of Marco Polo. And so the final round of Hirst vs Team Tat is ON.

With Reade playing double agent and Hirst grabbing players off the board one by one, it’s not long before the interrogation room starts to get a little crowded; if it’s not exactly protocol to just keep adding chairs and prisoners, it’s still very funny, and as the stakes get higher and higher, everyone and their efforts get better and better, whether they’re handcuffed to each other or not. Everybody in Team Tat (and one or two of their colleagues too – go Briana!) gets to be awesome, Rich and Patterson are THE BEST, and everything is deftly-plotted, and very, very clever, making “City of Folk Under Wraps” both utterly thrilling and completely hilarious.

Even Roman’s sub-plot works; I mean, it’s a little bit annoying that it keeps interrupting the rest of the REALLY GREAT STUFF but, by the end, it’s clear why and it makes sense in a mad, potentially exciting kind of way, even if “would it be so terrible to guard my body?” is a line that should never, ever be uttered again in anyone’s lifetime. Of course, that line has nothing on what poor brooding Kurt has to say at the end of the episode, though. My God. I mean, it has to have been an accident or self-defence or something, but how he and Jane are supposed to come back from “I killed your daughter!” I have no idea. Although I’m very invested in finding out. No word quite yet on when Blindspot will be back on Sky Living in the UK, but the show returns to US screens on 12th January so I’m hoping we won’t have to wait too long. Either way, what a season this has been so far with the show completely rejuvenated and knocking out some of its best episodes ever, and what a way to finish up for the holidays. Woo hoo!

Blindspot s3 ep 3

*Spoilers*

Kurt and Jane can get super-flirty on missions, and Zapata can pretend to be super-pally with Reade’s girlfriend to deflect all she likes, but we all know there’s only one pairing that really matters this week: ladies and gentlemen, I give you PATDOTCOM.

Not, alas, in the romantic sense – Yet. But we can hope, right? – but in the “used to be in a secret super-hacktivism collective with a lunatic nutbar who took it a bit too far” and the “uh-oh, how are we going to avoid felony charges this time?” ones, instead. Which, when the episode is this hilarious, is more than fine by me.

Of course, losing yet another gentleman friend/partner to evil conspiracy-type shenanigans – after Pushy, Borden and Stuart, I’m now terrified for Rich – means Patterson is already having a difficult time, so the arrest of Krazy Kathy, the third member of their (un)happy hacker trio, sends her storming down to Rich’s basement office/cupboard with a scrambler and a virulent case of PANIC STATIONS. To confess or not to confess? Well not, obviously, since nobody wants the two best characters on the show, and very possibly on the planet, to spend the rest of the series off-screen and in jail. But the alternative plan isn’t without its pitfalls, either, since they accidentally out themselves to Krazy, who is desperate to get the old gang back together and isn’t going to let little things like the law, the FBI or any form of sanity get in the way.

Because season three of Blindspot is an absolute joy, this means an exuberantly funny, fast-paced episode incorporating a sort of spoof-Tarantino kidnapping, Patterson and Rich in shock collars in a dungeon (“And not the good kind of dungeon,” either) – AND a cheerful, unapologetic tribute to unpopcult favourite Chuck, which I am all for. (Fly that Nerd Herd, flag, you guys. Fly it HIGH.) This would all be fabulous enough, but we also get – wait for it – Rich Dotcom winking and the PatDotcom fist-bump?! OMG. Too often, tv has me threatening my long-suffering television with violence, but today I just want to hug it. Rich Dotcom winking and the PatDotcom fist-bump! Sure, Reade being all kick-ass at Kinga and all “I know what you did last summer year” at the de-briefing was great, and I am delighted by the one-eared painter/ one-eared criminal craziness it looks like the show is about to embark on, but…Rich Dotcom winking and the PatDotcom fist-bump! “Huge Rich Dotcom fangirls” are totally a thing. I LOVE THIS SHOW.