A show which began with a naked woman climbing out of a hold-all and, over the course of two seasons, has managed to incorporate magic memory-wipe serum, barcoded babies, a giant radioactive Chair of Truth and a massive anti-corruption investigation based entirely on TATTOOS is not a show afraid of a little nuttiness. So God bless Blindspot for this super-fast season finale which not only embraces the show’s innate craziness but kicks it up several notches by going into space. Yes, you guys. SPACE.
I love Blindspot so much, I can’t even tell you.
Anyway, earth-based storylines first: now the plot is clear to Weller at least, he and Keaton manage to break out of the COGS Bunker a lot quicker than I expected, and dash back to Tat HQ where Team Tat greets them with somewhat mixed emotions. By which I mean Jane throws herself into Kurt’s arms, does a double-take, then very nearly throws something less welcoming at Keaton. Which is completely understandable, but we don’t have time for grudges right now, Jane. We have to go to
SPACE Washington and save the Government, the White House and the entire Eastern seaboard from Phase 2 which, after weeks of speculation, turns out to be a nuclear – or nukular as everyone insists on calling it – attack on the White House via satellite. In SPACE.
As Jane and Weller shoot it out with Shepherd in Washington and Roman gets away again (JUST KILL HIM ALREADY FGS), Reade is as bewildered, but possibly not as secretly delighted, as the rest of us by this talk of the final frontier; “are we supposed to just shoot you up there?” he wonders. I laughed out loud at that point, but although we’re not blessed with Patterson in a space suit, what we do get is just as much of a joy as Patterson gets NASA in and tells them exactly how she is going to save the planet, impressing the boffins and earning new boss Mary Stuart Masterson’s undying love and admiration. Join the club, MSM. Patterson takes over the space station, Patterson drives a space I-don’t-know-let’s-go-with-buggy, Patterson spoofs a signal(?) – Patterson does ALL THE JOBS. Except driving (and crashing) the ambulance o’nuclear material which falls to Jane, and repeatedly defibrillating a fully conscious Shepherd who does not have a heart problem but does have the homing device for the nuclear bomb INSIDE HER, which falls to Kurt.
This show is the BEST.
There’s a lot more going on in between, of course, but the gist of it is that the world is saved, Shepherd is sentenced to a long spell of Chairtime, the worst character on television is somehow STILL NOT DEAD, and Kurt and Jane – thanks to Patterson, again, like I said: ALL THE JOBS – finally declare and, er, demonstrate their love for each other, because it’s about freaking time. SQUEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
All of which would have been a deliriously happy way to end the season, but oh no, we’re not done yet; no sooner have Jeller got out of their own heads and into one of their beds, than we jump two years ahead to Jane (new hairdo, nice) climbing a mountain, communing with her spiritual side and being tracked down by Kurt because she’s run away again, the rest of Team Tat have been kidnapped, and a magic mini-mirror that lights up her tattoos like an under-18s disco might be the key to finding them. A magic mini-mirror…… *dies of happiness*
I am a little disappointed that, two years later, Jeller are still having relationship angst and a little surprised that Tasha still works for the FBI rather than Keaton’s more-flexible-on-the-torture-thing CIA black site squad, but no matter. It’s been an up and down season, not helped by a completely baffling reliance on the appalling Roman, but there was still a lot of fun to be had on Blindspot this year (especially when Rich Dotcom visited) and happily the show managed to ditch the doldrums and finish this run in as cheerfully, wonderfully wacky a way as I could have wished. I don’t know what Disco-light Doe will bring next season, but it has to be mad, right? And hopefully as great a ride as this was. Woo hoo!