In what might be the worst episode of Spin yet – this is a genuinely terrible hour of television – les writers, having made it abundantly clear that they’re going spend this season focusing on the mal parts of the show, distinguish themselves by doubling down on each and every one of them, and somehow managing to make everything that was already bad, much, much worse.
On the Kapita front, Simon’s in therapy in a scene which I’d say was lifted directly from The West Wing, but that would be defamatory. To The West Wing. After all, Josh Lyman never threw a bundle of cash onto his therapist’s desk like he wasn’t happy with the wine list and decided to take it out on the waiter.
Between woozy spells and inexcusable rudeness to medical professionals, however, Simon’s portfolio now seems to extend to running every aspect of Le Président’s life, be it personal or political. It’s Simon who decides how they’ll steal the PM’s thunder (not all that hard to do, in fairness); Simon who decides how they’re to deal with Madame Marjorie after last week’s International Rescue debacle; Simon who aborts that strategy and decides on another one when Madame Marjorie becomes (dear Dieu) some sort of Internet heroine and starts inexplicably quoting poetry en anglais; and Simon who decides what Le Prés himself is allowed to say about it. Or at least it’s Simon who tries to. A puréed cabbage might make a more convincing leader than Monsieur Marjorie, but it’s still something of a relief when he finally remembers who’s supposed to be in charge, and tells Simon to step off. Even if immediately following that up with “Are you coming?” somewhat dilutes the message.
In charge or not, though, Simon’s services are likely to be in even more demand next week, now that the cloud of e-cigarette smoke swirling around the Spin Secret Flat (the occupants and the illicit purpose may change every season, but I swear the flat is the same) has now parted to reveal Le Président in flagrante with none other than the object of Simon’s affections, Clemence Parodi. Scandale!
The awkward, clumsy Président-Parodi embrace is not a particularly jolie sight, but I suppose l should be thankful for their ungainly amourousness, since it at least gives Ludo something to do; delivering the photographic evidence to the very excited (and who can blame her? Gregory Fitoussi’s in her office!) femme at Flashmag is one of his two tasks this week, the other being ten-second seatwarmer for… Oh, who gives a French fondant? The only reason I’m still watching this show has about 90 seconds of screen time, during which he’s reduced to either courier or cushion. FFS. There have to be better ways of using the show’s meilleur asset, you guys. Come the eff on.
Especially since, to add insult to utterly baffling injury, while Ludo’s gone in a couple of blinks, nothing short of a blindfold and ear plugs for the entire episode is going to rid us of the unspeakable Elisabeth, or fellow “difficult wife” character Appolline. In fairness, the writing for women on this show might be sexist and awful, but it’s not lacking in screen time, is it? Elisabeth is in Every. Second. Scene, and as for Appolline…. Who could forget season one’s tiresome conspiracy field trip to Mali to investigate the “STATE FALSEHOOD”? The writers, apparently; they’ve now recycled the storyline and sent tv’s most irritating journalist (no, Simon, not la femme from Flashmag) to Lebanon to investigate the “PARODI FALSEHOOD”, a scoop which somehow manages to get both less interesting and less comprehensible the more we hear about it. And since Appolline’s source is très chatty, and the whole thing also seems to involve Palissy Junior – because now that we’re free of the wretched Juliette and her insanely creepy, pseudo-incestuous scenes with her dad, we really do need someone else’s appalling offspring to jump right in – we hear about it a LOT.
Malheureusement for moi, the turgid writing and ennui that overwhelms me any time anyone even mentions this plotline mean I have no idea what Parodi and/or Palissy Junior are actually supposed to have done but, given the show’s apparent fascination with the story, it seems the rest of the audience and I may be doomed to find out. Whether that will be in time to stop the new, utterly superfluous Palissy-Beaugendre alliance of evil is another matter, but, either way, I do wonder who will fight crime now Palissy de Justice is doing every other job in the government, and some of the opposition’s jobs too.
Sigh. What an episode. What a show. What am I doing with my life? There had better be beaucoup de Ludo in next week’s episode or I don’t think I’m going to make it to la fin.