TARZAN KURT, YOU…. ALLIE?”
Sigh. Alpha male Weller takes a break from fretting over Jane this week, directing the full force of his “MUST. PROTECT. MY. WOMAN.” programming on to Allie the PREGNANT – quick, somebody grab the cotton wool! – Ex instead. This of course means we all have to sit through an entirely predictable, virtually compulsory, and therefore deeply frustrating exchange of the type you’ve seen a trillion times before about Allie continuing to work in the field. I understand what Kurt’s trying to say and, since Allie’s work in the field seems to be accompanied by the constant risk of death/ serious injury and an overwhelming fondness for checked shirts, I personally wouldn’t want to do her job whether I was pregnant or not, but newsflash: regardless of how Kurt, I or anyone else might feel about it, Allie continuing to work in the field is a matter for Allie so SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU WITH YOUR POINTLESS ARGUMENT AND GET ON WITH THE EP.
Unfortunately for Kurt’s blood pressure, however, most of the rest of the ep (except for the parts where Reade is in an entirely different show, with Zapata as very special guest star) is devoted to ratcheting his Macho Meter up to eleven. The Tat of the Week (I think) leads the Team – or those members who are not stalking/ REDACTING their abusive former coaches and setting themselves up nicely for arrest in the near future – to a terrifically-staged attack on a local Senator, involving a gun hidden in a video camera. A gun hidden in a ….! I love this show.
Anyway, the investigation leads to Allie’s old pal/rhyming buddy Patrick O’Malley who is a dying former member of the Irish Mob, because of course he is. Allie needing better taste in friends notwithstanding, however, the attack turns out to have been “staged” in more ways than one and Patrick’s lying, murdering family have set him up to take the fall for it because no episode of Blindspot is complete this season without a flashing neon sign reminding Jane that lying, murdering families are EVERYWHERE.
The upshot of this is that Kurt and O’Malley get to glower at each other a bit, with Allie pretending not to enjoy it and Zapata making no such efforts, before Jane – of course – secures the necessary Intel from fellow family-fighter Patrick and off we all go to his lawyer’s office so we can be ambushed, Allie can be shot, and Kurt can pace around crazily and beat his chest – “ALLIE!” – while Kalinda and Jane behave like actual, trained operatives under pressure as opposed to folk with testosterone for brains, preventing the team leader from getting killed by his own stupidity and – whaddya know? – saving ALLIE! after all.
It’s all quite breathlessly entertaining and exciting (even if Kurt spends a lot of time making me want to throw things at his head) with the added bonus that, for the first time since she turned up all mysterious and “nothing to see here,” I was quite pleased with Kalinda, who proved exceptionally handy in a crisis, and, as she pointed out, “got to make Molotov cocktails, so it’s all good.” Heh. If you squint, the ep even ends up being sort of shipper-friendly, since Kurt is sincerely grateful to Jane for saving Allie’s life and tells her so. But you really have to squint. Sadly, poor heartsore Jane is unable to do so and phones that (presumably dodgy) art dealer she met last week instead. Oh, Jane. I suppose at least we have Patterden and their synchronised teethbrushing to cheer us up. For now….