Week 2 of the new season and, now they’re not allowed to fight it out in motel corridors any more, everyone’s in a MOOD.
The increasingly irritating Zapata sulks and stamps her feet for most of the ep, with just about everything she says being a variation on the general “Jane sucks! I don’t like Jane! Go away Jane!” theme. Reade, with the child abuse arc from last season preying on his mind, is a little more professional about it but, despite Ms Doe saving his life, isn’t exactly taking his seat on the Team Jane minibus either; “It was one thing when we thought she was a pawn,” he pouts, “but her mother’s the leader and her brother’s a homicidal maniac. Sandstorm’s in her blood.” Which might seem logical at first blush, but Reade, dude, if you open a history book, “(BLANK)’s in (their) blood” has been used as an excuse for a lot of inexcusable things over the years, so maybe just check yourself before you wreck everyone else, ok?
Jane herself, meanwhile, is justifiably miffed about the whole “three months spent in a black site hanging from her ankles” thing, and even the normally even-tempered Patterson is a bit snippy, although not so much with Jane as with Kalinda and her super-NSA cellphone filled with secrety secrets. “Why don’t I have access to that?” the disgruntled computer whiz keeps asking, before getting her own back when even Kalinda’s stumped as to where a suspect might be: “Can’t you just use your magic phone?” Heh.
Since their boss Kurt is hardly Mr Happy as a general rule, now he’s got a broken heart and a heightened case of Daddy Issues, he’s not exactly setting a great example when it comes to hostile workplaces, either. “I don’t like working with (Jane) any more than you do,” he tells Zapata. “I don’t like being in the same room as her. But it’s the only way to end this.” As Jane walks right up behind him. Duh.
Of course, when it comes to Jane, Kurt’s words tend to belie his actions, though. There’s a new Tattoo case – yay! – featuring the DEA gun-waltzing programme, missiles being sold to a drug cartel so they can destroy half of Manhattan, and some randomly hilarious dialogue about evacuation – Patterson: “Evacuating what? The entire East Side of Manhattan?” Reade: “Yeah, what’re we supposed to tell them, go to the West Side?” – but the possibility of metropolitan annihilation matters even less than usual since the case is only there to give everyone a chance to bicker between bullets while Kurt declares “Jane, with ME!” and “Good work (stopping the destruction of Manhattan with what looks like a mid-priced games console)!” to a confused but secretly pleased Jane, just like old times.
Well, not quite like old times. “Until you can confront your feelings about (your father),” says Obi Wan Borden, “his shadow will follow you wherever you go.” At which point, Weller, saved by the bell (of his cellphone), packs up his father’s shadow and heads off to do something less emotional instead. Since Jane’s equally agitated, however, Obi Wan’s not giving up there: “You and Kurt could help each other…..” he says, hopefully. “After all, Jane, this team’s the closest thing to family you’ve got,” which is true but so pointed, so cruel and so wilfully oblivious to all the ill feeling in Team Tattoo at the moment that it makes me wonder. Could the sensitive psychologist be – deep breath – the Sandstorm mole? He’s the only one not remotely fussed by Jane’s deception and he’s bizarrely cheerful this week, when everyone else is bloody miserable. Could he – please NO – be evil? Oh, God. Let’s not even think about it. Especially since his happiness could and obviously should be explained by him ASKING PATTERSON OUT AT LAST. (We’ve only been waiting a year.) And PATTERSON SAYING YES. If he turns out to be a traitor playing them all, that will seriously squash my squee.
Mole or not, though, Jane at least takes his advice, and the first steps towards reconciliation with Kurt, who is also keen to throw the shippers another bone or two. Having already told everyone (that means YOU, Zapata) to get a grip and start working together instead of against each other, he admits”I don’t hate you, Jane. I just don’t know who you are any more.” “Well, that makes two of us,” says poor Jane, and what with their latest successful prevention of Armageddon, it looks like the beginnings of a thaw in relations between Team Tat’s top twosome. Which, of course, means it’s time for the Marshal and the homicidal maniac to jump in and try to freeze them back up again. Sigh. I enjoyed this, but I watch Blindspot for fun, you guys, not misery. I’m going to need things to get a bit more shippy and a bit less morose very, very soon.