I don’t know about you guys, but if I have a meeting at work, it has to be a work meeting. The Team Tat branch of the FBI have a more flexible approach to use of office space and business hours, however, meaning that the conference room’s booked up this week for Weller, his sister and his (idiot) lawyer to agonise over Papa Weller-related family business. You might wonder why we should care about this, but the answer is that we need an excuse for Sarah to be in the building; otherwise how can we possibly get her stuck in a lift with Reade, the (idiot) lawyer and a load of feelings when the building goes into LOCKDOWN?
Yes, Tat HQ goes into high-security, high drama mode this week, and, in addition to the Reade/Sarah/lawyer axis of awkwardness, Jane’s trapped with Patterson, Weller’s trapped with Borden and Zapata’s trapped with Mayfair. Uh-oh!
Everybody else thinks it’s some sort of drill, but nobody’s fooling Patterson. “This lockdown is a smokescreen,” she realises. “We’re being hacked.” Or, if you want to put a finer point on it, “Someone’s attacking the FBI!”
That “someone” turns out to be a loved-up couple of super-hackers who’ve a) managed to get themselves hired as janitorial staff and b) set themselves up quite the thing in the main server room, which suggests that certain federal agencies (and there are a dozen in that one building, according to Kurt, so you’d think they’d be pretty careful) really need to tighten up their screening and security procedures. Luckily, though, those federal agencies have the now virtually omniscient Patterson around to clean up their mess, so she and Jane scoot up into a nearby vent to catch up with their respective love interests, and things suddenly get all kinds of bonkers because this is Blindspot and this is how it rolls.
“We need to start a giant fire!” announces Patterson, for reasons which need not detain us but are both delightful and demented. This sets Weller off on his usual Taylor/Jane-related reminiscing: “When you were a kid, you were kind of a pyro,” he muses, briefly but fondly. Not pyro enough for this show, though – “We need a BIGGER fire!” interrupts Patterson, a woman with no time for anything less than an inferno, so a bigger fire is what we get, followed by a hilarious sequence where Kurt and Jane, freshly loaded-up with weapons from the evidence room, enjoy shooting out a door or two and do everyone a favour by interrupting a fraught but tedious argument between the still-oblivious Zapata and Mayfair. “Back-up! I was hoping we’d run into some more agents!” Heh.
Off we trot to take the gunfight to the main server/ hacker room, then, with the shootout ending in the security breach equivalent of a score draw: one hacker down, one taking control of every lift in the building. Uh-oh again! As luck and the plot would have it, Reade and Sarah – wishing, along with a sizeable portion of the audience, that the (idiot) lawyer would just shut up and pass out so they can be uncomfortable in peace – are in a special lift, being the only one which Patterson can’t wrest back from hacker control. Of course, they are. But fear not! This simply means that Kurt and Jane have to sprint up 70 flights of stairs and only just manage to rescue sister, friend and (idiot) lawyer with a fire hose, instead, because – as Limitless pointed out a few weeks ago – watching someone just hit buttons on a computer for any length of time is boring. And watching someone swinging perilously from a hose as a lift goes crashing down underneath them is infinitely more fun.
As is much of the episode. The story is ridiculous and entertaining as usual, but the ending is both shocking and genuinely clever. I wasn’t surprised REDACTED was arrested – except that I thought it might’ve happened sooner – but I was mildly astonished at how well all the little pieces of Tree Tat Man’s Tree Tat Plan fit together to make it happen. As Jed said a while back, Blindspot is great at being dumb-but-brilliant and this was all of that, as well as – hopefully – a final wake-up call for Jane, because Tree Tat Man is a bad lot, y’all, and Ms Doe suddenly has a hell of a lot of explaining to do.