After last week’s temporary promotion to “agent everybody cares about”, it’s back to after-thought business as usual for Zapata this week, with Jane once more the centre of the Team Tat universe.
This week’s pacy, if somewhat glum, ep kicks off when Patterson’s “Yoohoo! Tattoo!” alert program is triggered by the theft of a painting of one of Jane’s tattoos from a gallery about to exhibit the works of reclusive artist
Although Zomo’s identity is supposed to be secret from the world, it’s blindingly obvious to the viewer within about 5 minutes, but Team Tat are a little too busy trying to foil a number of attempts on Jane’s life to notice. Luckily for Jane, but not so luckily for those in her immediate vicinity, her would-be assassin may be tenacious but he’s also somewhat broad-brush in his technique so, instead of killing her, he manages to put Weller in hospital, Zomo’s associate in the morgue and Tree Tat Man’s much more pleasant buddy in a pool of blood on his garage floor. Goodbye Danny! You seemed nice for that 90 seconds we knew you.
Because Jane is that standard tv agent combination of martyr and hothead that we’ve come to know and roll our eyes at, she runs away from Team Tat (to “protect” them) and joins up with Tree Tat (because who cares about that jerk, amirite?), while Kurt hilariously and very Kurtishly discharges himself from hospital to rally the team and find her, the “nick” in his jugular bleeding merrily away the entire time. The best scene in the whole ep has Mayfair and Sarah trying exasperatedly to talk him into staying in bed, while he calmly rolls back the sheets and suggests they “keep fighting about it while I’m getting dressed.” Heh. Nobody puts Agent Hardass in a corner.
As the Team search for her would-be assassin, meanwhile, Jane manages to worm a couple more nuggets of not entirely reliable information out of Tree Tat Man, and we find out who shot the dude with the bouffant hair at her safe house all those eps ago. We also find out things are not entirely copacetic between Tree Tat and certain of his former Team Orion pals, which is hardly surprising since most of that crew (except Danny! Sigh.) seem like asshats. To be absolutely honest, though, I don’t care about any of that. We’ve already got the gist: Jane and Tree Tat were part of some terrible secret government conspiracy which procured, trained and used operatives to do terrible secret government conspiracy things. Whether Tree Tat and ex-bud Cade have fallen out over who got to braid Marcos’s hair or whatever yarn the show ends up spinning is just unnecessary clutter.
Jane is much more interested in all of that and in Tree Tat himself than I am, however, so looks like we’ll be hearing a lot more about both. She can’t resist the lure of Team Tat and soulmate Kurt, either, though, and everyone is eventually reunited – somewhat randomly – for a shootout/rescue mission / Macgyver-style door-explosion on a ship in an abandoned harbour because that’s as good a place as any. Not that things are entirely copacetic between all the members of Team Tat either: Reade is single and in trouble, Mayfair is even more suspicious than she was before and Jane is hopelessly compromised and utterly miserable on all fronts. Still, at least Kurt is alive and grumpy as ever. “It was reckless! You can’t take these risks!” says Agent Pot to his precious Kettle, before admitting he’d have done exactly the same thing. “I lost you once before and I spent most of today thinking I’d lost you again,” he smoulders. Squeeee! Can’t imagine he’ll be with the poor Marshal that much longer, can you?