Since Jane chose to spend the evening on a roof top glaring at Tree Tat Man instead of meeting Kurt in a park at the dead of night – do these people not believe in living rooms? – poor, wounded Weller decides to avoid the toe-curling awkwardness and face-flaying humiliation of acknowledging that he’s been stood up by his colleague, partner and centre of his world, and pretend to Jane that he didn’t show up at the park of broken hearts either. He’s reasonably convincing about it too, and, credit where it’s due, it doesn’t seem to change how he acts towards her; he might kick off every mission with “Let’s move,” but he still always follows it up with “Jane, with ME.” The only difference being that there’s no more snogging in the street. For now. I mean, we can still hope, right? RIGHT?
Jane, meanwhile, is grateful for the reprieve, since she’s still preoccupied with Tree Tat Man and his Tree Tat Plan, even if said Plan seems to consist largely of being cryptic and annoying. It works on Jane (oh, girlfriend), of course, because she and Kurt will need a reason to fight loudly about “TRUST!” and “LIES!” and “BETRAYAL!” later in the season, and I know that’s all par for the course for semi-romantic action procedurals, but it’s still a bit depressing for those of us in shipper mood. I mean, it isn’t going to encourage any more snogging in the street, is it? Unless said snogging is between Jane and Tree Tat Man, which: PLEASE NO.
If one Weller’s love life is in critical condition, though, another’s is in rude health: in a very surprising turn of events, Sarah has broken semi-romantic action procedural tv show rules and, instead of dating Tree Tat Man or some other nefarious person involved in the conspiracy, is going out with REDACTED. Really. REDACTED. I don’t care enough about either character (particularly Sarah, whose defining characteristics till now have been a) she lives with Kurt and b) she smiles indulgently at Kurt) to know exactly how I feel about this, but how I feel doesn’t matter at all, because we all know how Kurt is going to feel about it; Mr Angry and Mr REDACTED are obviously going to be fighting loudly about “TRUST!” and “LIES!” and “BETRAYAL!” later in the season, too.
It’s going to be a bumpy few weeks.
What with all these romantic complications, I almost forgot there was an actual Case of the Week. The writers, however, didn’t, presenting us with a story about an evil (is there any other kind?) private military contractor faking the deaths of soldiers so it can try and turn them into super-soldiers. Unfortunately for them, the evil private military contractor is completely useless at this, though, killing most of its subjects and turning the only surviving one into a gun-toting madman. So far, so X-Files, except that these poor “ghosts” have had the same chemical mind-wipe that Jane had, and we all know – or at least Kurt does – what THAT might mean. Well, “maybe,” cautions the sensitive psychologist, “but there’s also a possibility this could have nothing to do with her.” “Or it could have EVERYTHING to do with her!” shouts Kurt, the “Pshaw!” being implied.
Either way, the plot’s happy (or unhappy, if you’re one of the poor subjects) mix of tech and psychology gives both Patterson and the sensitive psychologist a day out of the office, since they both – somewhat surprisingly, but you’ll get no complaints from me for giving the two nicest, most sensible people on the team more screen time – get to go to the evil private military company’s secret lair and talk jargon, while the rest of the team do the usual running and shooting.
Not that the running and shooting works out too well for the poor super-soldier, though. Despite Jane’s best efforts to talk him down, victim of secret military conspiracy to victim of secret military conspiracy, Kurt has to take drastic, unfortunate but entirely necessary measures to save his beloved, which, of course gives them something else to argue about because, by this point, Jane is just looking for reasons to switch from Team Tattoo to Team Tree Tat, and, being Jane, isn’t having to work too hard to find them. Oh, girlfriend. This was fun, but I really wish Jane would wake up and smell the Zeta Interacting Protein. Tree Tat Man sucks. Team Tattoo FTW!