“Blackmail” is the name, and “Blackmail” is the, er, game of this week’s penultimate episode of Spin, as half the cast threaten the other half of it with exposure of all the big secrets of the season.
Bakian’s secret – that he’s a BAD homme – is already out, of course, but he just shrugs off his French surveillance (much to the chagrin of Le Prés, who spends the entire ep in a fury about France not being top of the diplomacy pops any more), goes on a Grand Tour of North Africa, and sends his lawyer to try and pressure Gabrielle into calling off les chiens or risk losing both petit Victor and her job.
For someone who works in politics, the Secretary General of L’Elysee is pretty easily freaked by a dude who wears a cravat. Since she and Simon are fighting, and he’s too busy thinking ’bout his
baby daughter, he ignores Gabi’s 911 call, but when she turns up at work the next day in such a tizz that the hair is DOWN(!), he relents, takes her into the Blue Salon and…. gives her some really sensible advice which actually helps. Hurrah!
Simon’s reward for this is, of course, a whole lotta lovin’. Or at least it would have been, had it not been his wretched daughter’s turn to interrupt the resumption of diplomatic relations with Gabrielle and give us a cliffhanger by getting herself arrested for terrorism offences. FFS. “I’m a journalist,” she protests. Without a press card. Or an employer. Um….
La pomme doesn’t appear to have fallen far from l’arbre, mind you: “I’m not a vengeful idiot, I’m a journalist!” yells the appalling Appolline, having a rare old time yelling at Simon and pretending to care about the truth for most of the ep. (Athough presumably she’ll care about it a lot less next week if Palissy makes her choose between the precious truth or her imbecile kid’s freedom).
Neither Simon nor the audience is fooled, though, correctly identifying that Appolline’s obsession with exposing the hostage negotiations is more to do with punishing her ex than edifying her public. Punishing him for what isn’t entirely clear, though. I mean, Simon’s a terrible husband who cheated on her and moved continent, sure, but she knew that last season and didn’t seem too wound up about it. Why the sudden rage now? And the bizarrely aggressive jealousy? As our friend Bill commented on last week’s thread, Appolline seems to have become a totally different person from last season. And I don’t just mean the actress playing her.
At least Ludo is still his usual dastardly self, though. After last week’s non-event, Gregory Fitoussi is back, all ruthless and seductive and manipulative and whatnot, although Xerox Girl Rose (per our friend Moore) is so unbelievably stupid, he barely has to bat his eyelashes before she’s stealing secret files and cheerfully handing over – DUN DUN DUN! – the goods on Elisabeth and the car accident cover-up.
A couple of completely gratuitous topless scenes later and even Rose has realised her new boyf’s motives might not be entirely benign, but it’s too late. “Mon petit Ludovic” dashes off to Deleuvre, feverishly clutching his precious file, excitement all over his wee face…. Only for Delboy – who sought him out and specifically tasked him with bringing down the Marjorie government, let’s not forget – to get all pious and “You and I are finished” about it. “I don’t understand!” says the bewildered Ludo. Me neither, cheri. As we’ve said before, Deleuvre was fine with exposing Anne Visage as the President’s mistress last season so where has all this “we don’t reveal intimate fuck-ups in public” gallantry suddenly come from?
Huh. Perhaps Deleuvre got his new scruples from the same place Appolline got her new rage. Or maybe he borrowed them from Simon. Monsieur Kapita is, of course, saddened and outraged when a slightly crazed Ludo tries to use the file to run him out of town. “You’d throw a woman to the dogs, sully a President of the Republic, just to get back at me?” he asks sorrowfully. “It’s more than that!” protests Ludo, and do I have Fitoussis in my eyes or is he right? Not about the “Paris isn’t big enough for both of us” nonsense, of course, but, for all Simon and Deleuvre’s protests that this is just nasty gossip about one woman’s private life, we are actually talking about – sorry – a STATE FALSEHOOD, here. Remember how angry you were about last season’s government conspiracy, Simon? Or does the truth only matter if the liars are on the other team?
Elisabeth Marjorie was driving way too fast. Amaury Desplantes died as a result. Mme Marjorie should have been arrested and investigated and potentially prosecuted for it, but instead her husband and his government covered it up. They neutered the investigation, falsified the reports, and protected her from prosecution. That’s not an “intimate fuck-up,” that’s corruption.
Don’t get me wrong: Ludo’s motives are obviously as personal and obnoxious as Appolline’s. But if everybody else could stop pretending that this particular scandal is a private one, and they’re wearing white chapeaux when they’re really just hypocrites, that would be magnifique.