Presumably having heard us saying the storylines are too complicated and off-the-wall, Odyssey’s characters spend most of this week telling each other as much of the plot as they can grasp, although, since most of Odyssey’s characters are pretty dim, this means they really aren’t adding anything to what we’ve already worked out, more that they’re just catching up.
Odelle’s up first, and, having inexplicably put her faith in Col Glen – AGAIN – she detaches herself from the Rescue General who, ironically, would have kept her safe, handing herself in instead to the CIA “safe house,” which is anything but. For the benefit of doomed intern/ junior staffer Rich who lives there (spoiler – not for long!), she attempts to recap the past four episodes but he doesn’t believe her, asking bluntly: “I mean, does any of it even make sense to you?” Heh. Talk about meta.
While seeing her own funeral on TV fills Odelle in on what she’s missed and who she should actually be running from (Hint: STOP telling your boss where you are, girlfriend), poor young Rich is still unconvinced. And is promptly bumped off by the OSELA death squad who are apparently hanging out round the corner. Which begs the question: where were all these dudes last week when Odelle was with the Ansar Dine and Evil Frank was taking them all down solo? On a tea break?
Once again, however, Odelle escapes death while the people around her don’t – as poor dead Rich is bundled up in a carpet, Odelle is jumping out of a window, impaling a leg in a dumpster and finding sanctuary with an exceptionally kind and decent market trader for whom I am now seriously worried. Dude, being within 500m of this woman is likely to seriously damage your health. In the sense that somebody will probably kill you.
Sigh. Back in New York, the increasingly demented Peter takes a turn explaining the story so far to a pair of “outside investigators” who couldn’t be more obviously shady if they brought their own trees to sit under. SOC funded Abdul Abbas, killed Odelle’s unit when they found out and killed Danny Gentry to cover it up, he tells them. All of which is correct, but these guys are being paid no-doubt excellent money not to believe him by people who aren’t wild-eyed conspiracy theorists yelling at their kid’s boyfriends (in perhaps the WORLD’s most unnecessary sub-plot), so his protestations are ignored, Traitor Joe is hastily re-branded as Joe the Patsy, and hey presto! The plot makes even less sense than before. Why would they set Joe up? To provide a scapegoat? For what? Peter’s the only person going after them and he knows Joe didn’t do it, so why not set Peter up instead and get him out of the way?
The other New York strand of things, meanwhile, has a two-for-one deal on the plot exposition front. Harrison’s father was murdered because he found something out from David Tennant, Bob explains. “Who is David Tennant?” asks Harrison. “The Tenth Doctor Who,” I chuckle to myself, because you have to make your own entertainment when suffering through a Harrison scene. Since he has the finesse and subtlety of a cement-mixer, Harrison promptly doorstops David Tennant, who then kidnaps him in a “black towncar” (“not a TARDIS?” I continue to chortle), explains Randall’s part of the sub-plot to him some more (because Harrison is too stupid to have understood it the first 3 times Bob explained it) and then sadly lets him go. Sigh. Could you not just have killed him, David Tennant? No, of course not, because somebody thicker than a vat of treacle poured into the middle of an oil spill has to re-gurgitate this part of the story for the benefit of Ruby-not-a-Reporter, don’t they?
FFS WHY CAN HARRISON THE IMBECILE NOT UNDERSTAND SHE IS EVIL?
Although, in fairness, even Ruby-not-a-Reporter’s boss/lover seems to be confused about that, leading to a completely random but unintentionally hilarious scene where he essentially accuses Ruby-not-a-Reporter of being sweet on the stupidest character in the history of characters. Dude. She’s evil, not insane.
Of course, Odyssey’s insistence on devoting half of every episode to effing Harrison means limited time for Gregory Fitoussi’s super-cool Luc to remind everyone he’s the best character on the show but at least he gets a few minutes this week, instead of last week’s few seconds. Luc makes the most of it as well, effortlessly outsmarting Aslam and securing both the pendrive and basics of the plot (writers, honestly, we get it, there is no need for EVERY CHARACTER to keep explaining it), while still wearing the hell out of his sunglasses. Luc is amazing. And if I wasn’t already head over heels for him, his “she’s not my wife and her head looks just fine” to Aslam’s grumpy moralising would have got me there immediately.
Luc aside, though, “Beat Feet” seemed more about going round in circles than moving the plot forward. Still, with Shakir Khan on the case and determined to – hopefully – bring together the better characters (ie Luc, Aslam and Odelle) there may well be hope for Odyssey yet. There’s a fun show in there somewhere, if only they’d jettison the entire New York part of the story and let us focus on it.