As one very boring enterprise closes, another one opens: Colleano’s Club is now a private members’ Casino with, as Mr Regan notes with some menace, a distinct lack of private members. Till Victor sends out invitations to his rich Palm Court connections – why he couldn’t have done that before the Casino opened isn’t entirely clear – and people start showing up. If those people don’t start losing though, the Club could Close once again. A girl – especially one who is supremely fed up with this season’s focus on Colleano, Clubs and this type of Carry-on – can hope, right?
Or a girl can stop hoping and make things happen for herself. Well done then to Miss Calthorpe who stands firm on the Say No to S (Club) Junior issue. Till she doesn’t. Sigh. You could do so much better, Miss C. But, as we say a lot round these parts, the heart wants what the heart wants. Even if the heart is a moron.
Speaking of which, Mr S and Miss W continue to slobber over each other, as she continues to try and reconcile her competing careers of con artist and future society wife. There are two major obstacles to that particular ambition though; Evil Gus is determined to see the plan through, and Princess Wizwaz is beginning to see through the plan. Takes a con artist to know one, eh, Your Highness?
But, then again, I’m not being entirely fair to the Princess, since the origin story I thought she’d made up seems to be confirmed by the arrival of the jewels I thought she’d made up as well. And while I was unimpressed by her immediate desire to fund Sergei’s expensive aeroplane dreams with her sudden largesse, her offer to pay Mr S back for everything deserves credit, even if he (idiot that he is) turns her down. I like that she’s looking out for him anyway and, since she seems good at it, who knows? If she’s looking for a new venture to invest her money in, “Princess Wizwaz Investigates” has a nice ring to it.
Unfortunately, even Princess Wizwaz can’t protect Mr S and the store from Lord Loxley. The Sale of the Century means buying too much stock, taking out too much advertising and playing too easily into Lord L’s hands, as hot-headed Harry allows himself to be goaded into making things even worse with the surprisingly easily-manipulated Board. Have these people really forgotten that Lord L’s a traitor and a liar? Hmm.
Since Lord L’s not a fool, however, he seems to be running rings round Mr S, even with the loyal Mr Crabb – still the best character in the show – standing by the Chief’s side and ready to “stick it to them!” Hurrah for Mr Crabb! Here’s hoping he and new Head of Security George Towler (now promoted to second-best character in the show) can save the store, sort things out between Miss Mardle and Mr Grove (who deserved that tongue-lashing she gave him and more besides) and give us something heartwarming to look forward to in next week’s finale. Otherwise, forget Loxley and the Board, the audience – or this member of it anyway – losing any interest it had in the show may be a far bigger problem.