I thought this shipping and shopping business was supposed to be fun?
If last week’s episode was a mix of the cheerful and the calamitous, this one had clearly sold out of cheerful and over-stocked on calamitous just to keep the shelves full.
We began with tears and tea-cups at Doris’s wake, followed that up with poor Miss Mardle inheriting the Billy Problem and added in a spot of drug-dealing and organised crime at Colleano’s (getting more screen time these days than Selfridges itself) to keep things suitably depressing. On the off-chance this wasn’t enough misery to be going on with, though, we also had to endure Victor and Violette’s latest break-up (seriously – together or apart, does anyone actually care about these two?), Lord Loxley getting his claws into the store and Mr Grove banishing baby Ernest. Banishing baby Ernest! My, what a prince of a guy old Roger is – taking it out on the blameless, motherless infant is totally the way to go. No one could possibly accuse him of being a hypocrite or anything given his philandering with Miss M, oh no. *rolls eyes*
Speaking of philandering, meanwhile, the Great Philanderer himself, Mr S, spent the week giving away expensive stock to his latest squeeze and blaming Sergei (who is an idiot yes, but he’s not the only one) for selling shares which ended up in Loxley’s hands, having done exactly the same thing himself. Or, to put it another way, given that the store’s profits are going down and Loxley now has a seat on the board, Mr S spent the week fiddling while Selfridges burned.
A bleak, tiresome episode, then, filled with bleak, tiresome characters. With ratings on the slide and Poldark on the other side, this show really needs to buck up or, come season’s end, it may well have to shut up shop, forever.