Spoiler alert – someone dies.
We are told at the top of the episode by Mary Alice, in VO, that someone on Wisteria Lane’s gonna die, so the show has a certain amount of fun by putting a few characters in danger. Poor Karen’s cancer has spread, and she wants Bree to euthanise her, so lies in front of Bree’s car, then puts a drug overdose in a pie which Bree then eats, with consequences which I suspect are supposed to be hilarious. Mike’s packing heat to protect himself from the Mob. One of the Solis kids chases a cat onto a windowledge, then she and Carlos teeter there for a few seconds. Jane nearly chokes to death in Lynette’s kitchen.
And while all of that’s going on, there are some not-insignificant plots circling them as well. Tom and Jane are planning to move in together, which Lynette takes very badly. This is perhaps a male way of looking at it, but if Lynette really didn’t want her marriage to end why did she drive Tom away, and why is she behaving so shabbily now? Is Tom going to look from his shrewish wife to his placid girlfriend, and pick the sullen, petulant one? Still, I wonder whether we were just picking up the first hints that Jane might be capable of some pretty ruthless behaviour. Unfortunately for Tom, the only way I can see him getting back with Lynette is if Jane suddenly starts to be even less appealing than Lynette, which isn’t much of a happy ending, really.
The death of Papi is being re-opened, yet again, as a result of the information Orson sent to the police. And there’s an unsatisfactory Solis plot, with Carlos deciding that it’s time to become a philanthropist rather than a businessman. It gives Gaby a few good lines, but not much else.
In the end, though, it’s back to the death, and as soon as Mike starts his noble speech about how much he loves Susan, and decides to leave fence-fixing until tomorrow, you know it’s going to be him. (Even if you didn’t read about it weeks ago in accounts of Nicollette Sheridan’s court case against Marc Cherry and ABC. Bah.) Gunshot, brief but potent montage of Mike’s pivotal moments on the show, and we’re done here. I’ll be damned if it wasn’t rather moving – after eight years Desperate Housewives is moving towards its own demise, and Mike’s been a part of it since day 1. Apart from his inexplicable affection for Susan, he’s always been one of the more engaging characters; I’ll miss him, and it was an emotional way to round off another very good episode.